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    Network SoreFeet welcomes you to Deadhill

      Network SoreFeet was created in the 1980s to solve the problems of low traffic and rural lines.A BR analyst realised that for many people it would be better to walk, and hence Network SoreFeet was born.

      Passengers, or customers as we prefer to call them, always come first on Network SoreFeet, just before "don't bother, they're only here to spoil our teabreak". Train services from Deadhill are provided by SWT (Sorry What Trains), whose local customer service manager, Hamish Rossington, can sometimes be seen on local trains. His cheery manner "Heigh ho, Heigh ho, it's off to work we go... with a SPORTIS bag and a ten pound axe, heigh ho..." always keeps passengers entertained.

      Trains leave Deadhill every day at 0615, 0716, 0812, 0915, 1023, 1043, 1239, 1345, 1445, 1556, 1643, 1745, 1945, 2048 and 2217 for Lemmington Thpaa where alternative train services can be found (across the bridge, down the steps across the road and through the gates). Tickets can be bought at Deadhill station for all destinations within the UK. All ticket office staff are members of Yucky Railway Group and will fully explain ticket routings and fare anomalies for your chosen journey.

      At Network SoreFeet, we always want to bring our customers the latest ideas. Later this year, we will launch a new service, the Flying Pig, which promises better reliability, faster journeys and more comfort. We will also be working hard to maintain our heritage electric train fleet for the benefit of the nation - the main improvements being light blue paint and a new series of public artworks focusing on use of the marker pen, spraypaint and razor blades. We will also endeavour to keep toilets closed for as long as possible to prevent our trains getting smelly. Our new Passengers' Charter agreement to compensate pasengers for delays with one Polo mint for every half hour is also doing well - we have already given away two cases worth since the timetable change.

      Thank you for visiting Network SoreFeet. We wish you a pleasant journey.

site last updated: 06-Oct-98 by A.Boodoo